Last week i guess, all of the final year students in FKA were given a chance to attend an interview with Sime Darby. It was a new experience for me. I never went to an interview before so this is the first. It was kinda scary and exciting at the same time. I'm not sure back then whether i really wanted to work there, or to continue study or to work in a smaller company.. But what the hello, i just do it.

i love you rafiki

When he asked me what i want to achieve in life, i told him bluntly that i want to work for myself, to be my own boss. I don't like the idea of working under people for too long. For gaining experiences yes, but for long term no. Guess it was a bad answer, especially for a fresh graduate. Haha He asked me if i have to choose between design and management what would i choose and then when he asked me how hungry i am to work with them, i paused, for quite a long time. And i end up saying "....i believe the best path to be a good engineer or project manager is to start from working with the consultant agencies so that we have sufficient knowledge and experiences bla3..." I don't know why i am so honest. I should just say i'm as hungry as Africa. Then i told him, although Sime Darby is a developer company it is still ok. Its a challenge for myself and i'm happy to accept it. What an idiot. Haha..

I was jealous that some of my friends, altho this is their first time too, they manage to get through. But then, i thought, i am such a bad friend. So i decide to let it go. I'm proud and happy for my friends especially those who are close to me. Rezeki diorang. And maybe their personality suits better with the company. Extremely delightfully joyfully glad for them :) And wish good luck for the coming aptitude test.

ps: I'm not sad because i wanted to work there, but i'm sad because part of me believe, now, that i am not good enough and it scares me. I always want to believe that i am good enough.