fun of being exhausted

bebeling
♥assalamualaikum 

Who am i kidding, being tired and exhausted is no fun, no fun at all. Haih..But complaining about it wont solve anything either. This week is murder. That's what happened when you choose the dark side. The side or Mordor, the side of PROCRASTINATION. One does not simply procrastinate and expect everything to be in order. There will be blood and sweat! A lot of sweat i tell ya..arr.. But thats how i roll, you know..ekhem. I can handle pressure, i can, i sure can. Trust me, yes, trust me, i'm fine..I'm not being over emotional, cranky, moody, weak..i am totally fine, TOTALLY.


Stay positive, blame no one, blame nothing.


Kadang-kadang aku rasa macam nak taip status kat FB, bebel-bebel pasal kepenatan dan kestressan tahap agung yang aku alami. Tapi aku pilih untuk tak jadi macam tu. Sebab aku tau, semua orang pun penat, semua orang pun emo, semua orang pun tak larat. I dont have to make a big deal out of it. Its a normal phase for a student. Exam week, study week, project week, weak week, semua orang tengah alami fasa yang sama. Tak perlu nak sokong kepenatan satu sama lain. Buat-buat macam ok dan stay ossem and cool. Ok? BERUSAHA! Extra energetic sikit YEAH!!


Aku tak suka orang-orang yang aku sayang tension, moody dan lemah. Rasa cam tak best. Aku rasa macam  nak bawak lari all those bad feelings away but you cant always be the superman you know. Besides, some people dont even need saving, they just need some time to figure things out by themselves. Tapi ada jgak orang-orang yang perlukan extra attention kan? Make a card, make a surprise..Everyone loves surprises, especially when it involves food. Haa..Kalau tengah stay up pagi-pagi, perud bunyi-bunyi tapi malas gila nak buat magi, tetibe ade orang letak makanan kat depan mata..perrhh Cinta berganda kot. hahaha Please, trust me on this, it work like magic. Ekhem


Be free of your stresses. Admit that you're stressed and tired, but dont pamper yourselves. Kalau kerja tak siap dan rase penat, kalau tak study habis lagi dan rasa ngantuk, try to push a little bit more first. Guna teknik '5 minit'. Kalau rasa macam dah tak larat, cakap dalam hati, 5 minit je lagi, 5 miniiittt je lagi. Lepas tu baru rehat. Tak boleh manja sangat. Sikit-sikit boleh, kadang-kadang boleh, selalu tak boleh. Kena tough, cmon! Kita dah besar kot, dah adult. Exam? Projek? Small matter..mwahahaha

Jauhi teknik 'sambung esok'. Berhenti kerja walaupun boleh go lagi sebab kononnya nak bangun awal esok dan siapkan. Ini suicide. Anda takkan bangun pagi, lebih-lebih lagi bila tak cukup tido malam sebelumnya. Anda akan bermarathon dan kalau tersedar pun, anda akan TAKNAK BANGUN! no matter what happen. Ape nak jadi jadi la, yang penting aku ngantok dan nak tido. This is suicide bebeh, suicide. Especially kalau esok or lusa kena hantar. Jangan, jangan..Aku dah kena dah. Seksa beb, seksa. huu

it sure can
Jangan lengah kan kerja kalau tak sanggup nak bersengkang mata dikemudian hari. Huhu..Stop telling people that you're tired, start telling people that you can do this, you'll be just fine and you're feeling great. You're just a little bit tired and busier than usual. Always be positive ok apel. I love you. #foreveralone


The escape route


Bila tak larat dan risau, semua orang macam mencarik pasal je. Rase nak marah semua orang kan? Tak bagus tak bagus, nanti menyesal. So lets do these instead.

1. Stand up and stretch your body
2. Play hindustand song as loud as you're allowed to, haha and do the funny dance (buat ramai-ramai lagi best) while singing it. Lebih ridiculous the lyric lebih bagus
3. Gelak macam semua benda kelaka nak mampus
4. Continue gelak
5. Gelak lagi
6. Ok berhenti gelak dan cakap i love you kat rakan-rakan anda
7. Sambung kerja
8. Repeat step 1 till 7 regularly

Haha..Aku memang teruk lah bab buat list ni. Bajet-bajet boleh la. Heheh..Anyhow, ape-ape pun kalau rasa macam dah tak larat, dah malas nak buat pape, rasa lost dan give up gila sampai rasa nak nagis..amek wudu', solat, mengaji atas sejadah, menghadap kiblat..dan berdoa seikhlas hati, haa I.Allah, semua kerisauan akan hilang. Ececewah..Poyo, yes, yes sangat poyo. But everyone know its true. Kan? :) hee..So that is all. Good morning everyone, and goodnight to me. 

cuteness overload!

baby
♥assalamualaikum 

Babies. Yes, BABIES! Baby baby baby oh..Tadi, membelek-belek pinterest dan, ahha dan terjumpa pic baby yang sangat lah comel dan adorable. Cair cair~  I love babies. Aku sangat suka baby especially yang nak cakap tapi tak pandai, yang air liur tersembur-sembur, yang gatal gusi, yang muka blur, yang suka kutip sampah atas lantai, yang kuat geget karpet etc etc. Perrhhh tahap tumbesaran bayi yang ku gemari. Huahuahua

I was browsing pictures on pinterest then i spotted this cute little baby photography session. Maddie, 9 bulan. Sangat comel. Kalau ade mase nanti aku nak amek gambar sara macam ni jugak la. Awww~ so kiut miut..cair cair cair cair~ And because of her, i'm spending my sunday night browsing baby pictures on internet. huhu..Looser.


Once Upon A Time – Fairytale Baby Session – Snow White, Cinderella, Alice in Wonderland, Peter Pan & Wendy, Little Red Riding Hood & The Big Bad Wolf - Absolutely adorable.



And more!
Yang ini ini tidak ku tahu namanya siapaa.




pure joy

babies

cool-photos-dad-little-girl-at-home

nerd fantasi

bebeling
♥assalamualaikum 

Baru semalam, aku sedar yang aku ni sebenarnya agak nerd dalam bab benda-benda yang relate dengan fantasi. Ohmaigodd i'm such a nerd so cool..bahahaha Jadah hape. Sekarang ni tengah trend hipster kan? Kalau jadi nerd tu bagi diorang macam ossem dan cool la eh? Pakai spek hitam tebal, buat muka pelik, seluar skinny colorful..Kelakar kot sebenarnya. Haha Terpengaruh dengan hipster-hipster europe la tu..Eh orang europe ade hipster eh? Ke dekat the big apple je? Ape-ape la labu..
Fiction



I love fiction. Most of my fav movies are fictional. Aku suka star wars, harry potter, LOTR, Fifth Element..lagi ape ek? Hmm..The latest fictional movie yang aku tengok ialah, Cloud Atlas. This however, is too confiusing for me. Mungkin sebab takde subtitle kot, aku tak dapat nak tangkap diorang cakap ape. So tak faham. Huhu..But i like the idea. Cerita Cloud Atlas revolve around beberapa watak utama, tapi dalam dimensi masa yang berbeza-beza. Ade dalam 3 ke 4 dimensi rasanya. Orang yang sama, cuma nama dan watak masing-masing berbeza. See, i like those kinda of things. Macam The Time Traveler's Wife dengan The Lake House.


Lady Gaga in Fifth Element
My fav novels are those written by Darren Shawn and his books are about monster that coexist with us in a parallel world but in a different dimensions. There are wizards, trolls, witch, angry mobs..monsters..dan lain-lain lah, macam biasa. Kalau anime dengan manga pulak, aku sangat obses dengan Naruto Shippuden dan Avatar. I like the idea of having a different kind of world than our's. Its exciting.

But the fav among fav fantasy or fiction that i really love is The Tolkien Society, The Silmarillion. His work is mesmerizing. His imagination, perh..I cant find word to describe it rather than PERH. Haha..But seriously, he created a society, different ethnicity of people, different language! How cool is that? You know, even Einstein said imagination is a great tool for success. Einstein kata imaginasi buat dia berfikir lebih jauh, imaginasi buat dia persoalkan benda-benda yang bagi orang lain tak penting dan tak masuk akal. So you can say that Tolkien is the Einstein of his field, he's the man. ahha ahha ahha.


Obsessions



My obsessions towards the Silmarillion starts late actually. Aku lambat sedar kewujudan LOTR. Lepas 2nd movie keluar baru aku terhegeh-hegeh nak suka. Terseksa jugaklah tunggu trilogy tu habis. Lepas LOTR, aku baca novel The Hobbit pulak. Buku lama, orang bagi. The best random gift ever. Lepas tu aku continue reading. Tapi aku lambat sikit nak baca novel-novel ni, so aku baca wiki je. hahahaha! Sebenarnya aku ni nerd hampas hampagagas je. Huahuahua Ok la tu.

Mula-mula aku start baca pasal Harry potter dulu. Tapi way back before Harry was even born. Aku baca pasal Dumbledor dengan sejarah The Deathly Hollows. Cerita pasal Dumbledor ni lebih dark compared to Harry Potter. Lebih matang dan mungkin tak ramai yang boleh terima jalan cerita dia. But me likey like it bebeh. ahaha

who needs shaving when you have an ossem beard like this? hah hah?
After obsessing with Dumbledor and his quest, i started reading about Gandalf. Ian Mckellen sangat cool kot. Dumbledor, Gandalf, watak yang macho semua dia. Tu belum masuk magneto lagi, tapi sayang..He's gay. Why?? Why are you wasting your ossemness with with other guy? Whats not to love about woman? Huu~ (correction, Mckellen never played Gandalf. Silly me.)


Ainur



Kalau nak tulis pasal Ainur ni, sampai malam pun tak habis. Ainur are like angels in Tolkien fantasy legendarium. Dalam hasil kerja Toliken ni, Bumi, which is called Arda were created by the Ainur. But however, Ainur are not gods. Ainur diciptakan oleh seseorang yang Tolkien panggil the one god, lebih kurang gitu lah. Ainur were created with songs that Eru (one god) sings. Ainur pulak terbahagi kepada dua. Ade Valar dengan Maia. Valar ni adelah Ainur yang lebih kuat, ainur yang lebih lemah dipanggil Maia. Valar ni ade satu raja iaitu Manwe. Tapi Manwe bukan yang paling kuat pun. Ainur yang paling kuat sebenarnya ialah Melkor. Tapi disebabkan Melkor jahat, so Melkor tak di gengkan dengan Valar yang lain. Setiap Maia akan ada cikgu. Eceh, cikgu-cikgu pulak. Macam Gandalf, Gandalf pun Maia dan  Gandalf begurukan Manwe which is King of Valinor, The Undying Land. Souran pulak yang jahat tu, Maia jugak. Souran pulak bergurukan Melkor. So sebenarnya cerita pasal the one ring bermula daripada Melkor.

LOTR heroes

Aku rasa macam nak tulis je sampai habis benda ni. Tapi panjang kot. Huu..Takpe, nak tulis jugak. Tulis yang penting-penting jela. 

1. Elves ialah anak kepada Eru. Ciptaan Eru yang pertama untuk hidup atas Arda
2. Dwarfs bukan diciptakan oleh Eru tapi diciptaka oleh Aule the Smith dalam keadaan yang tergesa-gesa. Aule adelah antara Valar yang paling hebat. Dwarf dicipta lebih awal daripada Elves tapi ditidurkan oleh Eru sebab Eru nak siapkan Elves dulu. 
3. Orc sebenarnya ialah Elves yang telah diseksa, dicacatkan dan diciptakan semula oleh Melkor. 
4. Only Ainur and Elves are allowed to live in the Undying land. Tapi Bilbo, Frodo, Sam dengan Gimli diberi pelepasan sebab selamatkan Middle Earth cuma diorang tak hidup selamanya. Diorang still mati.

*Ok dah. Tak boleh bla, ade pulak masa aku nak tulis menatang ni. huhu. Time for work apel. Aghh malasnye. 

Music Feed : Hamesha tumko chaha

lyrics
Udit Narayan & Kavita Krishnamurthy : Hamesha Tumko Chaha





Tetibe rase nak layan lagu hindustan. Devdas has a beautiful saountrack, kan? Musik yang sangat berkualiti, i love every song in it. Ni lagu sedih..sangat sedih bila tengok video clip dia, lepas dah faham makna lagu ni laaaagi lah sedih. hindustani, Y U NO MAKE HAPPY SONG? Haha..padahal berlambak lagu gelek-gelek hindustan yang terlebih happy. Sampai tak larat nak tengok. Huu

So this is the lyric and the translation. Aku sedang cuba belajar lenggok lagu hindustan sebab ossem kot lenggok diorang. Susah kot, dala suara halus. Huu..Semput haku, semput wa cakap sama lu~ Sempuutt..

I Will Always Love You (hindi version)

koyi khushi hai yeh raat aayi sajdhaj ke baraat hai aayi
Happiness comes this night; a resplendent wedding procession has arrived.

dhire dhire gam ka saagar tham gaya aankhon mein aakar
An ocean of sadness, having welled in the eyes, was slowly checked.

gunj uthi hai jo shehnaayi to kholiye baandh bandhayi
The hum of the shehnai rises.

hamesha tumko chaaha aur chaaha aur chaaha...
I always loved you, loved you more and more...

hamesha tumko chaaha aur chaaha kuchh bhi nahin
I always loved you, and loved nothing else

tumhein dil ne hai puuja puuja puuja aur puuja kuch bhi nahin
My heart has worshipped you... and worshipped nothing else.

na na nahin...
No, nothing...

kuchh bhi nahin...
nothing at all...

khushiyon mein bhi chhaayi udaasi dard ki chhaaya mein vo lipti
Despair spread even in their happiness, wrapping her in the shadow of pain.

kahne piya se bas yeh aayi...
She came only to tell her beloved this:

jo daag tumne mujhko diya us daag se mera chehra khila
The scar you gave me; my face bloomed from it.

rakhuungi isko nishaani banaakar maathe par isko hamesha sajaakar
I'll make of this a keepsake, and decorate my forehead with it forever.

o pritam o pritam bin tere mere is jivan mein kuchh bhi nahin
O darling, o darling, without you there is nothing at all in my life,

nahin... kuchh bhi nahin
no... nothing at all

bite lamhon ki yaadein lekar bojhal qadmon se voh chalkar
Taking memories of past moments, going with heavy steps,

dil bhi roya aur aankhein bhar aayi man se aawaaz hai aayi
the heart wept and the eyes welled up; the spirit cried out.

vo bachpan ki yaadein vo rishte vo naate vo saawan ke jhule
Those childhood memories, those bonds and those affections, those promises of everlasting love [note: jhule, or swings, are often given as a present to a fiancee during the month of Saawan -- hence this translation of 'saawan ke jhule' as 'promises of everlasting love']

voh hansna voh hansaana voh ruuthkar phir manaana
Laughing, making him laugh, fighting and then making up;

voh har ek pal mein dil mein samaayi diye mein jalaaye
each and every moment of love, burning like a lamp in my heart;

le ja rahi huun main le ja rahi huun main le ja rahi huun
I am taking it with me, I am taking it with me, I am taking it with me!

o pritam o pritam bin tere mere is jivan mein kuchh bhi nahin
O darling, o darling, without you there is nothing at all in my life,

nahin... kuchh bhi nahin
no... nothing at all

hamesha tumko chaaha aur chaaha aur chaaha...
I always loved you, loved you more and more

haan chaaha chaaha chaaha chaaha
Yes, I loved

bas chaaha chaaha chaaha chaaha
I just loved

haan chaaha chaaha chaaha chaaha
Yes, I loved

aur chaaha chaaha chaaha chaaha...
I loved more and more...

my life : updated

family
♥assalamualaikum

Tonight i feel like i wanna write about me. Bcuz you know, everybody need some 'me' time. To begin, i am a final year student now, a senior, a lazy senior and this semester i have upgraded myself to be a non-ponteng-dengan-sengaja-er. And i am so proud of myself. Haha. .Dulu tak tau lah kenapa, aku selalu ponteng. Maybe sebab susah nak bangun pagi kot. huhu Tapi kalau kelas pukul 2 pun, lepas lunch break aku malas nak gi jugak so bukan sbb susah bangun, dan...kalau kelas terlalu petang pun aku malas jugak nak pegi. Heh Pendek citer tiap-tiap mase lah aku malas nak pegi kelas. Tapi alhamdulillah, anjakan paradigma yang ossem, aku takde lagi lah ponteng dengan sengaja. *plus minus 2 or 3 classes heheh


life update : academic


My final year project is frustrating. I had put myself to be in a situation where i'm just doing it for the sake of grade. I'm not doing things that i love. I guess its my own fault. I didnt really think before i chose my lect and my title. I was too relax, too casual. I just follow the flow. And it lead me here. But i'm being optimistic. Maybe i need some time to absorb this. You cant force love you know :)

Last week i think, i just got my reinforced concrete design test 1 result. It was, again, frustrating. I really thought that i can do well on this subject, i really thought that i understood..but, hmm..guess i'm wrong. They say its bcuz our lecturer is too strict. Almost everyone in my class is not happy about their result, so that gave me some hope. Maybe its true that he is too strict, maybe i did understand but he expect more. Thats why he was being stingy with the marks. Maybe.


life update : personal

retarded people belong to be together. hahah
I am in a serious relationship right now and it has been two years. I dont how people look at us or label us, but to me, this is the best relationship anyone can ever have. He's a great friend, a great companion, the other half of me. I am not brave enough to say that we will last forever, but all i can say is that if Allah wills, i hope someday we will be halal for each other.

But now his father is sick. His father has a high blood pressure and just recently he had a stroke. When the first time it happened, i was so shocked and scared for him. When he first called to tell me about it, at first, he sounded so calmed, i thought he was ok..but then he kept silence for awhile. I thought there was a problem with the phone signal. I kept calling his name saying hello..but it turns out that he was actually holding from crying. It made me cried as well.

our first date :D
I followed him to the hospital a few times. And sometimes, when his mother was with his dad in the hospital, i would went to his house and took care of his siblings for him. I didnt do much actually. I tried to cook roti telur, but i was too clumsy it got burned. Last time i cook lunch for them, and the bawang and ikan bilis were kinda burned too. Haha..I cook rice for them and it was dry..So as a conclusion, i sux. Haha But they eat it anyway..The youngest brother even complimented my cucur yang keras nak mampus tu. "Sedap kak yana buat cekodok." Yo yo o je...yang lain makan sambil buat muke ketat dan hampir mengalami kekejangan otot rahang. Heheh sorry tak biase dapur orang lain :b

This is a new experience for me. I never knew how it felt to have someone in the family to be really sick. Especially ayah..i couldnt imagine how life would be if ayah gotten sick. But now at least, eventho it is not my family, but because we are so close, i felt it. I worried a lot, sometimes more than i should. But everyone else is doing fine. Altho i can see that his mother is so tired from taking care of his father and tired of being worried all the time, she still smiles a lot, laugh a lot, and she scold her children a lot too. Haha..His sister and brothers were doing fine too. But i know, they miss the old days.

His father would need help if he wanted to move around the house, he eat and drink from tube, he can barely speak..but, he can still cry when he missed his children while he was in the hospital and he can still laugh when they joke around. I learn a lot from this family. I rarely called home to check on my family, i rarely text my sisters, i rarely even chat with them in facebook. But now, i try to connect more often with them. You never know what life will bring.

Things will be fine.  If you are reading this, i want you to know that i am always here. I'll be your shoulder to cry on, i'll be your strength when you're weak. Things are not the same anymore, but its not forever. i know its hard but everything will turn out just fine, you will be just fine. You'll be even stronger, even more matured after this. And i will try my best to help you whenever i could. I love you.


Eh, tetibe rase rindu family pulak. heheh :b






* Yes, yes i am weird. Yes, my youngest sister is weird too. Weirdness runs in the family.