No i am not a relationship guru, i just think its a cool title for a post tho. Haha I've been married for almost 2 years now. We're in that honeymoon phase, yes, still honeymooning. We're young, still learning about each other but a lot did happen within these 2 years. Macam sekejap je masa berlalu, rasa macam tak ada apa yang berubah. tapi percayalah, bila kita berhenti sekejap dan ambil masa untuk reflect balik, kita akan sedar betapa banyak masa dah merubah kita dan kehidupan kita. 

Traditionalist in the Modern Age

Although some people might think of me as a modern person, i am actually quite conservative, a bit traditional in some aspects especially in relationship. I am not the jealous type of wife, i trust my husband although i have to admit marriage requires a sufficient amount of doubt to function properly. You'd need just the right amount of doubt to protect yourself from the detriment of naivety.


Its easy to misinterpret what i feel as jealousy when in truth, meh i just don't like it. Get it? Haha Ok its like this, i'm not jealous, i just don't like things that aren't necessary. Unnecessary by my definition would be; unrelated to work, family, health, current issues, and not a casual conversation between close friends catching up on life. I don't restrict my husband from doing anything, i don't think women are wooing him or the other way around, i don't attack woman who befriended him, i just don't like unnecessary conversations. I'd told him how i feel then we'd talk about it. Jealousy on the other hand usually had no basis of argument and would essentially lead to a fight.

I just think that lelaki dan perempuan kena hormat perkahwinan orang lain dan bergaul ikut keselesaan orang, bukan ikut apa yang dia selesa sahaja. Walaupun pengalaman diri sendiri masih setahun jagung, tapi aku banyak mendengar. I'm lucky that my parents likes to talk. I mean, they share what they know not to gossip but to educate. Its different, gossips would focused on the people but my parents would focus more on the event. They'd talk about why they think it happen, what they do to help calm the situation, when to help and when to back off and so on. Not to mention my boss is kinda like them too. So if an 'event' took place in the office, i'd know about it. And boy, do i know a lot..its eye opening.

The Conscientious Spouse

What i can say is, act the way you should. Know your responsibilities and know your limitations. We're muslim, so its easier for us because we already have a guideline. So learn, follow it and inshaAllah we'll be safe. Memang, kadang-kadang restrictions buat kita rasa kolot, rasa terbatas. Kadang-kadang kita rasa " ... remeh dan tak bagi kesan apa-apa pun, kenapa nak jaga sangat?" Tapi based on apa yang aku dengar dan faham dari pengalaman orang lain, yang remeh tu lah selalu jadi punca. Dengan siapa kita bergaul, apa yang kita borakkan dengan orang lain terutamanya jantina lain, apa yang kita kongsi dengan pasangan masing-masing dan apa yang kita tak kongsi walaupun remeh seremeh-remehnya akan tetap bagi impak pada hubungan kita. Mula-mula impak dia tak besar, insignificant, tapi sikit-sikit lama-lama jadi bukit. Ahha I know, you'd be like, "alaaaa benda simple je takkan lead kepada masalah rumahtangga." Well hey, tah-tah itu la yang diorang rasa awal-awal, yang ada masalah rumahtangga tu . Take things for granted sampai lah isu jadi terlalu besar untuk dikawal.

But anyhow, we do what we do not for the results but we do it because we have to, because we want to be a good muslim. Because it is our nature, a 'fitrah' to put trust in Allah and follow His guidance. Whatever happen then is beyond our control but at least we know we did our best, it was just meant to be. It would be much easier to handle stress and life struggle when you feel that way. Its easier to feel content.


Jodoh ni complicated, perkahwinan tak semestinya penutup jodoh, perjalanan masih panjang. Kita tak minta yang buruk, tapi siapa lah kita. Berdoa, berdoa lah setiap masa untuk hubungan yang baik. Berdoa lah Allah lindungi kita dan pasangan daripada perkara buruk yang datang dari diri kita sendiri dan juga daripada hasad dengki orang lain. Banyak kan berdoa untuk kebahagian, ketenangan dan usaha lah sehabis baik untuk capai semua tu. Lepas tu kita tawakal, redha.. percayalah hidup akan jadi lebih tenang dan menenangkan. Jadi yang terbaik, buat yang terbaik. Lindungi diri kita dan pasangan daripada segala kemungkinan.